Every Question Is A Good Question

So Bj, will we be doing counseling or coaching?

The great bonus of my combined education and experience is that you get the best of both worlds. Once we have a good understanding of your situation, goals and needs, we'll decide which methods work best for you.

If we decide that focusing on emotional and psychological healing using well-tested theories and techniques is best for you, we'll do counseling.

If focusing on goals and actions will benefit you in making life decisions, we'll do coaching.

I've found that life often requires both!

How long will we work together?

Ideally, only as long as it takes for you to get the results you need. In my experience, an initial commitment of 3-4 months is optimum when working toward true and lasting change, with a maximum of 3 years for regular sessions. I have clients that I have seen for that long who now check in on an, ‘as needed’, basis to get a boost on a particular issue or simply to reconnect to our meaningful relationship. I love that. Nothing feels better than going through ‘graduation’ with a successful client and then getting to check in on their progress over time.

In a way, I’m in the business of putting myself out of business with you. The great thing about that is, when you meet your goals, gain new tools and build confidence, you tend to rub off on the people around you! There is a wonderful ripple effect, and being a part of that makes me very happy.

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Why do you specialize in relationships
and human connection?

What an insightful question!
I've found that most people have very little idea why they make the choices they do in their lives. Too often, they feel as if they have no power over their circumstance and that they are limited in what they can achieve. From personal and professional experience, I know that isn't true.

The fact is, 95% of what you have learned in your life has come from your interactions with other people. Those interactions have combined to create your Innerstory™, which is what I call the things you tell yourself about who you are and what it means to be you in the world.

And no matter how independent we want to be as people, unless you live in a cave somewhere, you are interacting with people all the time. I'm interacting with you right now, even though we may never have met!

So, doesn't it make sense to explore interactions between people to uncover the roots of and remedies for life's issues?

Besides, the key to success is doing what you love and I LOVE human interaction!

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My style is very different from a lot of counselors, coaches and advisors. I'm very interactive, proactive, and just plain active!

I'm passionate about building an environment where energy flows and solutions are explored. My hope is that, by developing healthy communication skills, conflict resolution patterns and increased self-awareness through your interaction with me, you will naturally learn to use those skills in every area of your life.

In my experience, a lot of helpers are quiet and reserved. I like to joke that their materials are all 'pale blue'. This connotes an air of calm and "Oh, are you depressed...?" that just does not match my style. My response is, "You're depressed? Gosh, let's do something about that!" I am quiet when called for, and active when necessary. I sum it up by saying that I offer meaningful messages with plenty of attitude.

Coaches are not currently licensed but I am commited to keeping a similarly sharp edge in that skill area as well. To do that, I maintain memberships in a number of coaching organizations that keep me continually supplied with new tools and challenges for building my knowledge and abilities.

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You are my kind of client! Congratulations on recognizing your own power. Now, if you've still got some issues despite your hard work, there is a practical explanation.

The habits of thought and behavior that work together to create your 'problems' also conspire to keep them embedded in your daily experience. Why? Because your ego...and by 'ego', I mean the part of your personality whose job it is to protect you from physical danger and emotional pain...strives to maintain order at all costs. Even if certain patterns of thought and behavior no longer serve you.

My job is to look for the themes and patterns in your ways of being, thinking and understanding and to bring those themes to your conscious awareness. Then, you can make healthy choices about how you choose to proceed. The alternative is like a giant computer (your brain) trying to fix itself with no hands.

Each of your issues contains vital information about its root and remedy. The trick is recognizing, interpreting and acting on the data. And that's where I make the difference.

Want to see how?

Click here for your no-obligation, Introductory Consultation.
I look forward to talking things over with you.

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I have counseled in an inner-city junior high and found the work challenging and rewarding. (Understatement!) These days, I prefer to work with people 13 and over.

I’m especially interested in helping teens and college students learn the communication and coping skills that will make them happier, healthier adults.

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