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Tips, tricks and great information from www.bjcounsels.com 12November04

What do we have here? 3 Tips for Great Gift Giving A gift is a statement A gift of health and beauty Wellness Workshop Monday, 15November04 *Note Dear Bj, So good to be in touch again, especially as the holiday season kicks off. In this issue, I'm offering some gifts to put a smile on your face while doing nice things for others. After reading these articles, and doing the simple exercises, you will never think about gift giving the same again! In fact, you'll be able to make this holiday season the most fulfilling you've ever had. Big claims, I know, but trust me on this! Also, you'll find an opportunity to win a 45 minute coaching call, some information about a wonderful local gift idea and the details about next Monday's fr*ee Wellness Workshop. Let's unwrap some great ideas, ♦ ♦ ♦ You are receiving this email magazine because you have opted into my mailing list or participated in one of my events or services. If you wish to no longer receive messages from me, please use the secure unsubscribe link at the bottom. I respect your privacy and bandwidth and would never spam you or abuse your private information! 3 Tips for Great Gift Giving The holidays are here and every other ad on the radio is about the perfect gift. The pressure is on. Are you looking forward to the season or, does it feel like gift giving is hard/scary/disappointing? Not to mention too expensive, too big an energy drain and, sometimes, just plain fake? It's sad that, for too many of us, honoring our relationships through gifting has become such an tedious slog. Let's see what we can do to make it more fun/simple/fulfilling, shall we? 1) Pay attention before you pay big bucks. Avoid getting trapped in the wasteland of overcomsumption, tit-for-tat, and keeping up appearances by really listening to what is important to the people around you. What do you give the person who has everything? Something that makes more of an impression than another dust collector! Give some thought to what you have heard people say they need/want and how you can help them have it. Who do you know who needs babysitting help during the holidays? Or, how about taking a vacation day to do special errands like having your mom's dangerous tires replaced, or shoveling snow for the older folk on the block. These actions have real meaning. Everyone seeks relief and understanding, right? Show people that you care about what they care about and whatever you do will be a real...um...GIFT! For instance: I mentioned my legendary distaste for feeling cold to a friend recently and she responded by making me a flannel slip so that I can wear skirts more comfortably in the winter. How great is that? One note of caution. Years ago, a dear friend expressed an interest in jigsaw puzzles. She received 16 all at once! Collections can be great, but if you want your gift to stand out, use a bit of imagination. That year, I gave a custom made crossword puzzle instead of a jigsaw. It was in the puzzle vein, but still a bit different and more personal. 2) Ask good questions and make workable plans. Have you ever NOT told the whole truth about your feelings during the holidays? Too often, we accept things we don't like, eat things we don't want and generally go along to get along. Remember, "I HAVE to do X" is, techically, not true. You may choose to do something to avoid a feared consequence but you don't actually HAVE to do anything! People 'don't want to go there', by challenging the staus quo because they fear it will be hard/scary/disappointing. Which is really sad because it's actually LESS work to be honest. Clarifying your needs and asking good questions* can go a long way toward reducing stress, debt and resentment. For example: Rather than busting the budget, Ask your child-"Let's figure out what is most important to you, sweetie. Which of the things you've talked about do you want the most?" If nothing rises to the top of the list, offer three affordable options to choose from. Instead of stocking up on generic scarves during your mad dash through the mall, Ask your friends-"Hey, instead of scrambling for gifts, why don't we plan a nice dinner in January when we aren't completely worn out. Which of these dates would work best for you?" A nice evening when you can actually focus on each other is always fashionable! Rather than buying some unbreakable to drop in the mail, Ask your far-flung relatives-"We are cutting back on the amount we spend on the holidays this year but it's really important to me to connect with you. How about we plan a conference call when we can all chat? We can rent a bridge line for about $30. Everyone calls a specific number at the appointed time and we can talk like we are in the same room! Let's email photos of things we've done this year and we can talk about them." [Email me if you'd like to know how to set up a bridge call. Or Google "bridge line" for vendors.] [Just today, I learned that Snapfish will take your photos and turn them into all manner of cool gifts, including nicely bound books. Some free options for sharing photos before the big call include, Ofoto, Shutterfly and Yahoo!photos.] Instead of guessing and getting it wrong again, Ask your partner"What will make you feel loved, my love? And, how much do we want to spend on gifts this year?" One very successful couple I know does most of their shopping for each other at the after Christmas sales. Their partnership respects financial responsibility and gift giving on thier own schedule makes it special and more fun. Keep in mind that old habits and 'traditions' can die hard and people may not immediately be prepared to join you in holiday sanity. Be patient. It is so worth it. Read Tip 3 and more about avoiding disappointment here » A gift is a statement Make your statement obvious, not just in the object, but in your sentiment. Try this exercise: Take your gift list and write next to each name the answer to this question: What do I want to tell _____ about what I like/admire/appreciate about him/her? For example, "Tracy, I love that you volunteer in a literacy program. I admire the time and effort you put into helping people be self-sufficient." What kinds of gifts might express that sentiment? Walking Tracy's dog on the evenings she tutors so she doesn't have to worry about his discomfort (or pay a dog walker) while she's helping others. An interesting article about literacy training techniques along with a good manual. A donation to the literacy program. Some yummy, healthy dinner options so she doesn't have to cook when she gets home. (i.e., Homemade frozen soups/casseroles in nice, reusable containers) Now you try it. List some ideas that compliment these sentiments: "Honey, I feel so safe with you." "We work well together." "I love that we can talk for hours about movies." "You've bailed me out and I want you to know I am here for you too." "I respect and support your choices." Send me your ideas and you will be entered into a drawing for a FR*EE 45-minute phone coaching session for yourself or, to give as a gift! If you really find yourself stuck without an idea for someone in particular, you may want to have a chat with me about why that is. Call 1.866.821.9386 or email me to set up a time. A gift of health and beauty I've already received one great gift this season. A gift certificate for services at bnatural Salon and Day Spa, my partner in the 3rd Monday Wellness Workshops. With it, I had one of the most relaxing and rejuvenating experiences of my life! Angelica, one of bnatural's talented aestheticians, led me through "Angelica's Package", a series of services that included: a wonderful steam bath, a sea salt body exfoliation, the best facial I've ever had, a hot oil aromatherapy massage followed by a vichy shower including buckets of beautifully scented water. I'm relaxing just remembering the details! The steam made me feel clean and detoxified, the salt rub felt fabulous and helped remove years of gray, worn out skin cells, the facial made me actually glow, the massage relaxed muscles that were more tense than I even realized and the horizontal shower was just pure Heaven. Angelica is a gifted, experienced practitioner. Her attentiveness and dedication to your comfort and health are rare gifts indeed. Call bnatural at 301.809.9855 to make an appointment or arrange for a gift certificate for "Angelica's Package" [which is currently on special for $150, regularly $200!] or any of their other great services. Please tell them "Bj sent me!" Wellness Workshop Monday, 15November04 Speaking of the 3rd Monday Wellness Workshop, join us at bnatural on Monday the 15th for a dynamic workshop titled: Simple Gifts We'll explore some of the ideas in today's article in much greater detail, working out specific solutions for your particular holiday challenges. We'll discover your hidden gifts and how you can share them during the holiday season, creatively and inexpensively. Giving that will get you remembered. Low-to-no cost gifts that you will love giving. Holiday survival tips for your mind, body, spirit and budget. Please join us at bnatural 15420 Emerald Way Bowie MD 20716 Call 301.809.9855 to rsvp for the workshop or to ask questions about bnatural services. Looking forward to seeing you there! See Mapquest for directions » *Note Some of the clarifying questions above were paraphrased from Alison Wiley's book, Joyful Days, Holy Days available from the author for $14.95 Details here » Quick Links... Free Resources About Bj Relief/Understanding/Solutions Need a Book Recommendation?

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